Break up but not Broken up. . .

Having been married a few years now, I sometimes reflect on our past as a couple. Someone recently asked me about how my wife and I met, they then asked me what impressed me about her. After thinking for a few, I responded that she had an amazing ability to recover.

After dating for a couple years, I got to a very confusing time in my life. I knew I cared about her but was unsure about what to do beyond that and not sure if I was even ready to do whatever that next step was. Long and short of it is that we broke up. The break up was initiated by me and my uncertainty. After about 8 months I was convinced by my cousin to give it another try and decide about the future of the relationship. At the first opportunity, I called her from a pay phone. We didn’t have cell phones back then. When she answered, I asked if I could see her after I returned to the city.

When she came to where I was living, I was amazed at what I saw. What I saw was not a woman who was broken over our failed relationship, what I saw was a woman who had taken the pain and disappointment and used it to build a better her. Although there was a break up, she was not broken up. She had changed her hair. She had lost 30 lbs. She wore new clothes and was sporting a new attitude. She didn’t use the break up to break down. She used it to redirect and rebuild.

All too often when we experience pain and disappointment, instead of using it to propel us forward, we use the break up, the separation or the ending of a season, as an opportunity to break down. Although I understand that there are times in which the break up is unavoidable, however let’s not allow it to leave us in a broken state. Instead, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep it moving. Remember there is more ahead on the road to your destiny and if you stop now, you’ll never reach it.

Now That’s a Word!

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