Good Communication gives good manners

19 Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving];

James 1:19Amplified Bible (AMP)

I was in a restaurant the other day and was surprised at how attentive and catering the waitress was. She came to the table with a smile and listened intently as we gave our order. When she returned with the food I found that she had left off one item I had ordered or thought I had ordered. Her response was to apologize and I in turn apologized also, and she hastily went to correct the error. I am still not sure whether it was her fault or mine but we both apologized.

It has always seemed strange to me that we would give a total stranger our full attention and if a mistake is made in the communication, we don’t get upset, we just try to make it right.

Good communication is not about what is said, but about what is heard. Communication is the bedrock of a solid relationship, but not communication for the sake of communicating. Good communication is about relaying a message and receiving a message, being careful to convey that message in love. The scripture talks about slow to anger and about forgiving. This is because the message relayed and received may offend you, but just like the waitress and I, it is not about the wrong or the offense but about us coming to an agreement and walking away, knowing more and being better having had the conversation. I know it was not her intent to offend me or leave as an unsatisfied customer so why would I get mad.

Knowing the heart of our spouse and knowing that they love us is important to being slow to anger. There is a saying” don’t shot the messenger” your spouse is the messenger and they are trying to deliver a message presumably from their heart. Let’s listen attentively, be slow and thoughtful in our response and most of all, let’s listen without taking an offense. Remember they love you and in the end want you to be a happy and satisfied customer, eager to return. Now that’s a Word.

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